Saturday - so far
2.30 am Woken by son and his mate stumbling through the front door. Sounds of drunken revelry
2.45 am No sound - son and his mate passed out
2.46 am I sleep the sleep of the sober
5.45 am Woken by dog wanting a pee
5.55 am Dog agitating at door, groan, roll out of bed, open garden door, head hits pillow again
6.00 am Woken by dog jumping on my shins, scream loudly, head hits pillow yet again
6.01 am Awake
6.02 am Still awake, knackered
6.02 am Still awake, knackered, reading
6.03 am Snoring
6.45 am Woken by dog snoring
6.45 am Give up, get up, wander into sitting room. Body on sofa - son's mate, still drunk. Suggest he tries out the bedroom upstairs. Get propositioned by son's mate. Oh so reluctantly turn him down.
6.46 am Take kettle to sink. Sink full of amorphous pink debris. Delicately sniff. I'm right. Son's mate has puked in sink. Impressed by his thoughtfulness and aim.
6.47 am Decide to pass on the cup of tea
How's your Saturday so far?