The badly made bed
Yesterday, I slopped quantities of lumpy apricot jam on top of the cake the dog didn't eat, rolled out some marzipan very thin, so it would cover the cake in one go - no patches or joins, because it isn't going to be covered with all forgiving icing. It looked like a very badly made bed with a lumpy body left under the bedclothes. There's only so many disguising rose petals I can strew over it..
One sleepless night later, I fall out of my own badly-made bed (does this tell you something?), totter into the kitchen, grab the rolling pin and another slab of marzipan, bash it into something like the circumference of the cake, water down what's left of the apricot jam, splodge it on with the 1" paint brush (cleaned for the occasion) and slap this new circle on top of the old. Stand back and admire. Not perfect, but improved. Slap more jam over this and the sides. Roll out another slab to cover all, trim edges. Cross fingers and hope - it's the best its ever going to be.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, Kate has ordered a proper cake, as a fall-back. PMSL.