May I introduce members of my staff?
Rosy Fingered Dawn - she who lives on the end of a leash down in the cellar. Built like a sumo wrestler, with the teeth of a pitbull, RFD is often exercised under cover of the dark hours. There have been queries whether she has an alter ego, Dawn Fingered Rosy, but this can now be refuted as vile calumny. Dawn's homeric odyssey is to scrabble in darkened corners in the hope of seeking out stray shards of broken window glass overlooked from previous escape attempts, to insert beneath her fingernails. She doesn't fight fair.
Princess Beauty is a flighty young thing, into violet satin corsets laced tight and fishnet holdups. She is often to be seen trawling the less salubrious back streets of our nearby city, but prefers to remain at home, writing letters to naive gentlemen, inviting them to part with their bank details in return for promises of untold wealth. Her command of the English language is uncertain at times.
A newcomer to the fold is Erich - a teutonic trainspotter, of somewhat obese rotundity. Erich likes to get his kicks standing on a bridge over a railway when a steam train comes underneath. Sadly, he has yet to realise all train lines are now electrified, and his desires are doomed to remain unfulfilled.
And finally, may I introduce Susy? She is an ageing upper middle, under the impression that she is irresistible to young gentlemen. She is sure the girlish abbreviation of her name, black kohl-rimmed crepey eyes, red lipstick bleeding into the smoking induced lines around her mouth, fag sticking to her bottom lip, and her patchily dyed hair with the grey parting make her among the great beauties of the century.