Ouch - that looks painful

Look, I really try and keep out of trouble, really I do. But sometimes I feel the need to attack radiators with my head ... check out the black eye - it's half way down my nose now, but no picture of it. The real beauty is the bit under the plaster - it poured, and I mean poured, blood all over the place - handfuls of it. Then it stopped - hooray! A dent in my head, which might improve matters .. and no need to bother A&E. Slap a quick plaster on it and on we go.

Until I drive to Peterborough, and just outside I got a drip drip drip down my face. What to do? No tissues, don't want to get covered in blood, but then a light! The car was valeted yesterday, grace a the building site on the doorstep, making me park on the road, under the trees, where birds crapped all over the car. Anyway, the valeters in Tesco carpark put the stuff in the boot on the back seat, among which was a packet of cleaning cloths.

So, fumbling with the packet on the A1, I was able to hold a cloth over my right eye, mopping blood, and steering with my other hand, I got into the services, where I was able to buy a packet of plasters. And here's one doing it's job.