susys running away to sea

"The rigors (sic) of an expeditionary lifestyle"

Friday, June 30, 2006

I Left My Heart in St J's, Newfoundland

It slipped out accidently the other day, before J was aware of it.

“Extravagant and Frivolous!” he said, referring to my footwear – pink rubber boots, pink Gummibears flipflops, stinky trainers, two pairs of heels. I was delighted he had recognized the effort involved in cultivating this persona.

* * * * *
Getting Ready To Go Out

Downwards survey of current outfit and decision reached not to change – 1 second
Run fingers through hair, slick of lippy, squirt of scent, earrings already on – 5 seconds
Choose shoes – 54 seconds
Grab bag and avoid reflection in mirror
Total time: 1 minute

Thorough wash and brush up, inc teeth, hair, shave, aftershave and check self in mirror – 30 minutesLay out selection of clothing – 5 minutes
Select clothing, including shoes – 5 minutes
Dress, check pockets, put on watch, get wallet, check wallet – 20 minutes
Check boat overall – 1 hour
Total time: 2 hours

* * * * *
Instructions for washing hair (nautical)

Equipment required:
1 cockpit, dock, jetty, wharf etc as available
1 bucket, size immaterial
1 small plastic glass or mug
1 tin solid shampoo (cheers, Salli!)
3 glasses of cold water in a container

Lean over bucket and apply one glass of cold water over hair.
Shudder carefully to avoid spills.
Scoop water from bucket and apply till all hair is wet.Apply just enough shampoo not to work up a lather.
Scoop water from bucket to rinse.
Apply one further glass clean water for final rise.
Towel and wind dry.
Congratulate self on saving last glass of water.

PS Use water in bucket for thorough all over wash.

* * * * *

By Blow

Humourless Know-it-all: “ You know the Moody dealer in the Hamble?”

Straightfaced Smart Alec: “Oh, yeah – the one dealing in dodgy gear?”

HKIA (repressively, suspecting leg pull): “No, no. MOODY – the yacht people, blah, blah, blah."

SSA looks abashed – but not really!

NB: Dictionary definition: Moody (adj): item or items probably fallen off the back of a lorry, or otherwise gained by nefarious means. Dated 60’s slang from SE region UK, still in common usage among persons of a certain age and class.


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