THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT!

"Don't shout," says J, having just changed the battery in his hearing aid. The other one died weeks ago.

"Don't joke about disabilities, J," I reply primly. "I'm supposed to feel sorry for you."

J and I are well past the age of having inhibitions. He's the lucky one - he can turn his ears off to mine.

"Jeez, I hope I'm not getting a cold."

"So am I, Jack."