A few of days ago, in a wild fit of enthusiatic arm waving, I nearly spilt a glass of wine over my laptop. Quick reactions - saved the glass, the wine and the laptop. Golly, did I feel good. So good, I slurped the wine and refilled the glass.

Guess who did the same again several minutes later, the only difference being slightly delayed reactions by now, and the laptop guzzled the wine like a dehydrated computer...

For several days, I was biting nails, pacing the floor, tearing hair, diving into the church shop, pretending to be full of good works, in reality getting a fix from their computer.

Today, son in law took some bits off the underneath of the laptop, cleaned a couple of contacts, fitted it all back - and here I am again! Bet you all missed me and my percipient, astute and acerbic comments...

The laptop still STINKS of wine - yerk! Daren't do anything about that, because I think I got away with things lightly - when I tipped it up to drain it, wine poured all over the table. Now, I'm rather sorry about the waste.

I've been mobilised by one of my daughters. I have a 'retro' ie ancient and laughable mobphone, which I've already used and used, spending vast amounts of money refuelling. It's been a life saver over this weekend, keeping in touch.